Okay y’all, buckle up because this is WILD. I (25F) am getting married in a few months and I've been planning this day for almost TWO years. My fiancé and I have been dreaming of this perfect outdoor ceremony with all of our closest family and friends, and honestly, I couldn’t be more excited. BUT here’s where things get insane.

So, a little backstory—my cousin (27F) is pregnant with her second child. Great, right? Except, she’s ALWAYS making everything about herself. You know the type… like at every family event, she’s got to be the center of attention. I love her, but it’s honestly exhausting.

ANYWAY, fast forward to last week when she calls me and casually drops, "Hey, I was thinking, wouldn’t it be AMAZING if we did the gender reveal at your wedding??" 😳 I’m sitting there like, girl… WHAT??? She starts going off about how perfect it would be to have a ‘big moment’ where everyone finds out the gender during my reception, and how I should "totally do a balloon release or confetti pop for her." As if this is HER day!

I tried to be nice and told her that, uh, my wedding wasn’t really the best time for that and that I kind of wanted the day to be, you know, about me and my fiancé. I thought she’d understand, but she got PISSED. She started accusing me of "stealing her joy" and "not being supportive" and said I was "selfish" for not wanting to share the spotlight on my wedding day.

Now my whole family is divided. My aunt (her mom) is telling me I’m being a bridezilla and should “just let her have this moment,” but my friends are like “uh, girl NO.” Even my fiancé is like, “Why is this even a conversation???”

So now I’m sitting here wondering, AITA for not wanting a gender reveal to hijack MY WEDDING??? 😭

Ok I’ll start with the fact that I’d prefer to just order and pay for my own coffee and leave. Other than normal pleasantries like the usual “how’s your day going? Fine and yours” I’d prefer not to converse with the individual in the drive thru. It has happened a few times where the barista informs me that someone in front of me bought my coffee and queries if I’d like to do the same for the person behind me. Usually I have no problem doing it as I was gonna pay for mine anyway. Today this happened and I said “sure, what is their total.” I was handing her my cc when she told me the total was $42. I put my card away and said “I guess the streak ends with me today”. This girl looked at me like she thought I was the biggest asshole on the planet. Total contempt. In this instance Idc if people think im the AH because I’m not going to ever pay $42 for an entire cars drinks and food because some other nice individual paid for my $4 cup.

I [24m] and my girlfriend [23f, Anne] began dating in college.

Last week, Anne invited me to her co-worker’s (Joe) party. I had heard a lot about him in the past, and he and she really seemed to have a lot in common, especially with their taste in music. Apparently he was an amateur musician with a fairly successful YouTube channel. Joe initially invited only Anne, but when she asked him if I could tag along, he said it was fine.

The party was on Saturday evening. It was a fun party with about 30 people, held at a restaurant Joe had rented out. Towards the end, though, I wandered into Anne’s little discussion group, and I immediately got the feeling that nobody really wanted me there, most of all Anne. It was her, Joe, and a few other people. Thinking that I was just imagining things, I hung around, and listened to Joe basically boast about himself the whole time. A little while later I wandered off to get myself a drink and chat with a few other people.

Eventually the time to leave came around, and I went to find Anne again. Joe approached me at that point and said that he was having an afterparty over at his house. I was going to refuse, but then he said, “Sorry man but only Anne is invited” while clapping me on the shoulder. I first told him not to touch me, and then said she’s not going. He informed me that she had already accepted the invitation.

I texted Anne immediately to ask where she was. She responded “Sorry, on the way to Joe’s place. I’ll see you tomorrow love you!” I asked if she knew I wasn’t invited, and she then left me on read. Texts after that were all ignored.

I drove home furious. I stayed up all night, and finally Anne walked in the door at 5:42am. I know because I was by the window watching. I recognized the car as Joe’s and the driver as Joe. Nobody else was in the car. Anne waved to him cutely and laughed at something he said.

Anne came inside and acted surprised to see me still up. At that point I flatly told her that we were done, and she had the rest of the day to move out. Anne was at first confused with me, and then I told her that she can just move in with Joe.

She rolled her eyes and said nothing happened. She gave me this spiel about my insecurities and imagination. I said it didn’t matter. After this back-and-forward arguing, Anne finally relented and sarcastically thanked me for wasting “the best years of [her] life.”

Anne finally moved out yesterday, and it was pretty dramatic. She said that she loved me and that I was throwing away everything over a party.

Did I do her wrong here? I feel like I'm getting gaslighted.

We were having a minor argument over cake flavor. I forgot her favor cake flavor. Yeah. I feel really dumb and bad about it. It happens. We’ve been together 15 years and idk why but it just completely left my brain. I apologized to her many times and said tell me what so I can remember again. That’s when she said “I already told you it”. I said can you tell me again? Or give a hint? Nope. Repeated herself maybe 5 times.

That’s when I asked her what mine was. She said she forgot. What was it again? I told her it right back. “I already told you”. She got quite pissed off and stormed out of the room. Called me an asshole on the way out. Then said “only I can say that, asshole”.

So, AITAH?

UPDATE: I know it has been only one day, but I'm sure you all would like to hear this. The divorce is on. Started the paperwork. She texted me and said only wanted me for sex and nothing more. I talked on the phone with her trying to understand her logic and by the end of it I said fuck it I tried to look past you cheating on me with someone but I can't and I won't. You had an affair, and I can't ignore it. Fuck it I'm done I will start the paperwork and just be done with you. Then called her a whole and hung up the phone. So paper work is started for a much needed divorce.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/k6Ku6lHFNV

Context, 2 yrs ago my daughters 4th grade teacher would call my wife to discuss my daughter's progress at school. One of those times I heard was on valentines day where he wished her a happy valentines. She responded with a thanks. I brought it up to her I didn't like him calling you personally since no other teacher has done that. Why couldn't he put it in the weekly progress email that comes out. He calls other moms I know too she said and gave me names. I didnt tell my wife this but, I visited the school and personally thanked him for calling my wife to tell us. Not another call after that.

Fast forward 2 yrs my wife just got a job at the school and now my youngest has the same teacher. My wife asked me this morning if I could bring her a coffee and grab him one too from our daughter. I said no, I'm not buying a another man a coffee for my wife. Then it spiraled down from there. AITAH for not buying another man a coffee.

My husband hasn’t been to any of my appointments or ultrasounds, except the initial appointment to confirm my pregnancy. Even then, he didn’t want to be there and was on his phone throughout the ultrasound. After that, I decided not to include him in any of my appointments but would give him updates on what the doctor said. I noticed he never asks about my appointments, how I am doing, or how the baby is doing, so I stopped giving him updates. Even for the gender reveal party, he didn’t want to be a part of it. I told him I am having a baby shower, and his response was, “It’s not important,” and that I cannot have it in our backyard because “my people killed his grass when I had the gender reveal party.”

When I am feeling sick, vomiting, or in pain, this man shows no concern. I am going through this pregnancy all by myself, emotionally and physically.

Am I overreacting? I don’t want him in the delivery room with me. He’s never shown that he cares or held my hand throughout my pregnancy. What is he going to do in the delivery room? I really want my mom in there with me. Will I be wrong for this?

I’ve been best friends with someone for years, and when she got engaged, I was really excited for her. She started planning her wedding and mentioned that she wanted me to be one of her bridesmaids. I didn’t say anything at the time, but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea. I’ve never really liked the idea of being in a bridal party—it’s just not my thing.

A few weeks ago, she sent me a message asking if I had thought about it. I decided it was time to be honest, so I told her that I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid and preferred to be a guest instead. I explained that it’s nothing personal and that I just want to enjoy the day without the stress of planning or duties.

She freaked out and said that if I wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid, then I shouldn’t come to the wedding at all. I was taken aback and asked her why it had to be that way. She said that it wouldn’t feel right to have me there if I wasn’t supporting her in that way.

Now I’m stuck feeling guilty for not wanting to be in the wedding and for possibly missing out on an important day for her. My other friends think I should just suck it up and do it for her sake. AITAH for wanting to step back and not participate?

Hi! Hope this is allowed but you were all so wonderful and helpful and turns out I got an update sooner then I expected

so I haven’t heard from Lisa, that I expected

what I didn’t expect is a friend of Lisa to get in touch with me, let’s call her Sarah, I knew of Sarah and spoke to her a few times at events we attended together and she was one of the girls with myself went wedding dress shopping for Lisa, she was also a friend I noticed wasn’t at the bachelorette which was a surprise anyway and at first she was doing a “ hey how are you “ and we did polite small talk blah blah until she finally went “ so are you as pissed off and mad as I am at Lisa OP? “

Immediately I was slightly shocked as the few times I had met Sarah she was very I guess demure?

That opened the floodgates of information and she told me everything she knows, so what I didn’t put in the post is I actually waited 2 days before messaging Lisa about the lack of invite… turns out 3 of Lisa’s friends who also weren’t invited hit her up immediately after she posted on instagram asking why they weren’t invited

turns out these girls absolutely chewed Lisa alive and my “ confrontational “ was soft and finally it was revealed what actually happened and now I’m even more confused

so Lisa admitted to Sarah that her sister in law planned the bachelorette and just decided she was only going to invite the friends she knew.. so Lisa’s usual group of 8- 10 friends including me got narrowed down into 4 and Lisa decided not to correct her sister in law and just went with it, not realizing how many people she would be upsetting with not inviting people

apparently once people started attacking her she basically Lisa buried her head in sand and started making up lies to everyone on why they weren’t invited and using the same excuse of “ don’t make this a big deal “ until everyone realized the reasons were bullshit and called her out for it and the real truth came out

Sarah has informed me the girls who weren’t invited have all pulled out of the wedding, their partners included because they got the same annoyed response from Lisa before she told the truth and they all thought they didn’t deserve that… then she finally asked me what Lisa told me and I went deathly quiet on the phone before finally admitting she used my pregnancy as a excuse which then started poor Sarah on another rant of anger on how Lisa could say that to me! When I’m pregnant.. anyway we ended the call and she hoped we could get coffee sometime so I think I’ve made a friend?

so.. that’s the update.. this pregnant lady is very confused.. and I’m currently the number one buyer of ice cream at my local dairy LOL

Okay, I just wanted to start by saying English is not my first language so forgive me if I make some grammar mistakes.

I (22 F) will graduate from college in 2 weeks. Three days ago I received the news from the coordinator of my faculty that I'll be giving a speech during the ceremony due to my good grades (I'm Summa Cum Laude which is awarded to candidates whose grade point average is 3.900 or higher). I told my family and everyone went over the moon congratulating me, but I told everyone I didn't want to attend and I would say no to the speech.

For a little bit of context, my mom passed away when I was 13 y/o and the idea of her not being present in something so important to me is heart-wrenching. I expressed this to my family and after so much convincing from my aunt and grandma I decided to attend and inform the coordinator I'd do the speech. I specifically told my dad that I just wanted my two brothers, my aunt, my grandma and he to attend the ceremony, no one else. I told him how I just wanted my close relatives with me that day as they were the only ones I considered my family. He agreed to this.

The problem began when yesterday while I was looking for dresses on the internet, my dad informed me he invited his fiancee and stepdaughters to my graduation ceremony. I stopped immediately what I was doing looking at him confused and asking why did he do that. He just answered by saying that his fiancee wanted to be included as part of the family as much as possible. I didn't know what to say so I just reminded silence. I was mad after that because all I wanted was to celebrate that day with my loved ones. I wanted to tell my dad right away that I didn't want them at my graduation but I was looking for the best way to tell him without hurting anyone's feelings. I know how horrible would be for his fiancee to be told she would not be attending my graduation because my dad didn't have the minimum amount of common sense and asked me before he invited her.

To clarify things, I have nothing against her. She is a good woman who respects me and my brothers and for that I'm grateful. The thing is that I don't want to establish any type of relationship with her or her daughters and I was very clear with my dad since day 1.

I'm a very close and private person and takes a lot for me to open up to people. My dad knows this, but he always used to force me to hang out with his stepdaughters and fiancee. One day, I had a serious conversation with him, in which I was completely honest by telling him he deserved to be happy with someone after my mom passed I was genuinely happy for him but he could not force me to have a relationship with someone I don't want to which he agreed to or that was what I thought.

I talked with my aunt about the situation and she told me that I have the right to invite whoever I want since is my day and that I should talk to my dad and not feel guilty at all.

I decided to take her advice and talk to my dad this morning. I told him that I specifically mentioned that I just wanted him, my brothers and my aunt along with my grandma there, no one else, and that he should've asked me before telling his fiancee anything.

He was mad at me and said that I should be more understanding of his fiancee's feelings to be included since I never go out with her or her daughters and she sometimes feels like I hate her. He also said that she was excited to attend when he mentioned that he couldn't tell her no. Then he said that it was just a simple graduation ceremony and I shouldn't make a big deal about it.

Not gonna lie, that hurt me since he more than anyone knows how hard was for me to even enter college, he knows how I used to work and study for 4 years so he could pay for my brothers' and his stepdaughters' education, and how devastated I was for not having my mom with me in that special moment.

I answered by telling him that I didn't hate his fiancee or her daughters, I just wanted to celebrate with my family but since it was just a simple ceremony he could just not go.

He then said that I was exaggerating things and that indeed just family was going to attend. I corrected him by saying that we don't have the same definition of family then, because I don't consider his fiancee and stepdaughters my family. He looked at me angrily and said that whether I liked it or not they were my family and I should accept it.

I'm so confused right now, I'm not sure if I'm wrong here. I don't know if I'm making a big deal about something that is actually not that deep or if my reaction was exaggerated and I should apologize with my dad.

I'll accept every advice you can give me and I'll appreciate them.

Please forgive any grammar errors. English is not my first language.

I'm ( f40) at a point in my career where I've been able to accomplish some things very fast and some took a loooong huge minute. I'm very grateful and ready for my new chapter, which includes relocation and a slower pace. I'm in the process of ending a relationship ( Jason M39), since I recently came to the conclusion that I can't be with him. I've given him lots of opportunities and I feel depleted and tired. Its come to a point where I get tense by merely hearing his voice. We are engaged, and we have also gotten over many bad moments in our relationship. I was extremely busy and now that I have the opportunity of finding myself a bit, I just don't wanna get married.

He comes from a family with trauma. His parents had a very bad and long dragging divorce and their children got pulled into it. Maybe I shouldn't talk like this but all of their kids are losers, including my fiancé. I've tried to ignore this, but I'm ashamed of him. His sister has a cosmetology certificate but she refuses to get a job because she “needs” to be a SAHM, yet is always angry at her ex because his child support isn't enough. His two brothers are musicians. One works at a hotel and sent his baby mama home to her parents as soon as she got pregnant and the other one lives a man child life. Both BILs spend long nights playing with bands but never get paid,so they frequently have problems at their real jobs for tardiness. Jason and I had issues early on because he kept switching jobs and complaining.

We reached a stable stage in our relationship until we got engaged. I don't feel like I'm his priority. Everything always needs to go to his family. Every plan, every potential progress, is always about giving to his family. When I got an opportunity to develop a food truck park, he immediately tried to bring his mother into it so that she could get a food stand “ to help her”. If I get a hospitality client, he immediately asks if his brothers can get hired. Not only this, but tries to create opportunities so that they can get plugged on to whatever I'm doing and start a business sucking the life out of my clients. Of course I never allow it.

PHe doesn't understand that this has cost me lots of blood, sweat and tears to get and that I'm not okay just handing it down. For background, I have access to both medium sized and small companies and I got my first global client last year.

At the time when my career began to really pick up, Jason and I had gotten engaged and I felt comfortable sharing my progress. By Holiday season last year, I had a very complicated situation. I needed to complete a deadline but had already bought tickets for my kids to fly to see my parents. Jason confirmed that he would go with me whenever I was ready, so I didn't book a flight as he would drive us. I flew my kids, came back, worked my ass off and was both anxious and worried. I kept open communication with the client, delivered by the 22nd but needed to wait for their approval, which included a visit to their location. They are manufacturers, so I was basically on call. It was approved, but Jason went MIA. It was too late to get a flight, but when he replied to give him a couple of hours I was relieved thinking that we would leave soon. He stalled and made me wait until I started crying due to anxiety. I ended up driving myself while exhausted on Xmas Eve, which is exactly what I didn't want. I had to stop at a motel to sleep a few hours and then get on and spent Xmas forcing myself to stay awake to be present for my family. I nearly broke up with him over this, especially when he said he didn't leave early because his mother got emotional.

So fast forward and I have gotten good contracts. Clients have been referring other clients and I finally stabilized my schedule and have been hiring more people. I was super excited to share my progress with him. I got a very good opportunity to move closer to my family and to work for a very large company for very good money. The minute that I told him, he started with the family business subject. He wanted me to hire a company that he would create. I am firmly opposed to this. That's a company only on name. He wanted to “tap into anything that can be done” ( his words). He has been very insistent, but dropped it because we had a huge fight.

He's been very enthusiastic about moving. He has a job prospect and he would earn a better salary. Last month, we found a rental property and were discussing our plans. I need a home office and bedrooms for my kids. He mentioned that he needed a spare room for guests. I immediately had a bad feeling and he said he wanted his family to stay over until they found their own jobs. He said the family room could be converted into another extra bedroom. I could picture myself having to deal with his family and being unable to evict them. I tried to talk to him but he said it's what he wants and he has a right to bring his family and said “period” which sounded so one sided that it has made me rethink the whole matter. I mean, who's gonna pay for all this? I asked if he planned on doing all this on my dime and he started throwing things.

I sat him down for a serious conversation and his reasoning is that family helps family ( true in my case because we are very close, but they don't use me as their personal raft). I was very blunt and as honest as I could. I dont want his family living with us, and he knows that. I will not agree to financially support anyone especially after he's made plans to spend my new money but hasn't asked me if I agree or even if I plan on helping my own family. He has never asked if my family needs anything, it's all about him. He has made plans to get his family inside our new home,without offering a potential deadline, and has dropped hints about wanting a new car. I was sincere about slowly losing my respect for him because his ways have made me feel like he has no respect for my sacrifices and everything I went through to get to this point. It wasn't him getting sleep deprived and being constantly on the line to get things done. The conversation went nowhere because he grabbed his backpack and went out. A few days later, he told me that he got fired and sent me the memo that he got and it clearly said it was because of insubordination.

There is so much to unpack about this, from being a possible poor example to my kids to being a weak man who won't be able to answer for our family should I be unable to support us. Fuck that shit. I can't. I told him that I wanted to break up and he said things that are embarrassing. He said he thought he'd finally found the love of his life but said he is dissatisfied with me because I'm taking away all of his dreams. The entire situation was cringe because he held onto the car wheel and started rocking back and forth. He accused me of being a snob now that “I'm rich” ( I'm not rich, but I hope my opportunities keep opening up so that I can build my wealth). I told him the problem was right there. He's asking to stay together, but won't work on himself.

I gathered all of his belongings and asked him to come pick them up and he refused. So I had to drive to MIL's house and once there, she confronted me. She said that I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing by playing a “goody two shoes” ( moron/stupid in their family slang) and secretly working to rip the family apart. She mentioned very personal things that I know I didn't share with her and it made me so mad that I called her and all of her children losers.

He keeps sending me info on couples therapy but I just don't want it. He won't remove his car from my garage and he won't take his gym equipment which is too heavy. He says he would have done it, but because I called him a loser, he's not removing anything because I disrespected his mom. AITA for confronting her?

I’ll try not to make it too long - this happened two days ago.

A little less than a year ago I switched my life around and started developing my own psychological horror game, being a fan of the genre for years. Obviously I told people about it and so naturally over time, all my friends also knew. Now, zooming in on one specific friend, my friend (32M) and his girlfriend (35F) have a 7 year old son who loves video games. Think fortnite type games.

Recently, my friend came over and we were bantering back and forth. Just generally having fun. He asked me what phase I am in with the production of my game to which I answered that it’s basically done and ready to ship. He asked me if he could play it and obviously I enthusiastically said yes, as I was thinking I’d love to see a live reaction and possibly see bugs which I didn’t know encounter in my own playthrough. I showed him the Steam page, the art I had etc, then he started playing. After him peeing his pants and finishing the game, us talking about it, he asked me if next time he could bring his son and let him play it.

I looked at him for a few seconds and my mind was in a rush. My thoughts immediately went to the fact that my friend got really scared at some points, even wanted to stop playing at one point, and he wanted to let his 7 year old son play this same game??

I answered that I didn’t think that was appropriate/smart - something in that sense - and that I think he should be a little older for these types of games. My friend thought about it and agreed with me, so that was done. We had a great rest of the night and we said our goodbyes and I went to sleep.

The next day I wake up to about twenty text messages from my friend’s girlfriend (I’ll save you the other messages but on topic):

‘WHY can’t <son> play your game?!!’

‘<son> is MATURE enough for your horror game’

‘Who are you to tell us how to raise our kids!!?’

I didn’t reply to her at first and called my friend, but I did not get a response. After a while I called again - still nothing. I answered the girlfriend: saying that when the game is released on Steam soon, you can do whatever you want, but now I still have control over who I want to play it.

The only thing she replied with is that she doesn't want me to contact her or her family for the time being.

Tbh, I’m quite at a loss. Being so close to my game’s release date it feels bad to be in such a situation now. It was never my intention to tell them yes or no - like tutoring their kid or whatever - however I think that since it’s my game, I can say yes or no to something like this. When it’s finally released on steam, then yeah I have no control over who plays it. But right now I still do. I don’t want a small child that can’t understand real from fake that well to such a scary game.

Thus far I have had no contact with my friend yet. I tried reaching out a few times, but now I just dropped it as I feel he should now come to me or at least reply to me instead of me chasing him.

Does anyone have any advice? Am I in the wrong here?

16 years ago, my daughter and my nephew were both 9 and were being looked after by sister his mom. My nephew decided to let her cat out just to see her reaction and only confessed to it a day later. He found it very humorous even while she was devastated after we weren’t able to find the cat after days of searching. My sister was really apologetic and did her best to discipline him for it but for reasons understandable to everyone, my immediate family never saw my nephew again. He was forced to apologize by his parents which he made very effort to do as sarcastically as possible and even after growing up, never realized that what he did was anything other than a funny prank. From what I know of him, he’s barely changed as an adult.

In spite of it, we didn’t really blame my sister. She never defended his actions and tried to get him mental treatment as an adolescent too. I don’t think she was a bad mother, because her other two kids turned out fine. My daughter especially grew close to her when she moved to the same city where my daughter was in college. Both of them and my nephew all live and work there now.

Just last week, my sister asked my daughter if she could move in with her for a few weeks or possibly months. My daughter agreed but rescinded it when she realized why: my nephew, his girlfriend and their two kids needed a place to stay after being evicted because of his girlfriend’s illegal drug use. My sister offered to let them stay but my nephew’s girlfriend hates her so they asked her to move out and let them stay there on their own which she agreed to because the alternative is everyone including the kids ending up homeless. My daughter told my sister that’s an insane thing to agree to and tried to convince her to reconsider but my sister was adamant that it was the only choice and she can’t let the kids suffer for their parents’ choices. Well my daughter said if she wants to be taken advantage of, she can, but she (my daughter) is not going to be a party to it and has no intention to indirectly help out my nephew after what he did to her cat all those years ago.

Both of them called me after that, my sister to ask me to tell my daughter to give up her really old grudge and think of the children, and my daughter asking if she’s making the right choice. I sided with my daughter and told my sister it would be best for everyone if she joined the rest of us in going NC from my nephew because he’s always going to use his kids to manipulate her like this but she thinks we’re all wrong for letting his kids suffer due to who he is.

Edit to add the same trigger warnings as before sorry for forgetting - my brain is chaotic - TW: abuse, self harm, substance abuse, death, violence

I kept my promise to my wife to wait before reacting. She knows me best and knew I was prepared to go nuclear. Turns out, I needn't have bothered.

Let me clear up a couple of small details and misconceptions I've read.

1. I am the eldest of the siblings. Mom and Dad have been sick for years on and off. So to those who think I've just started taken over as some weird power trip or something, no. I've managed their finances, maintained their properties, and taken care of all their affairs before either of them passed. Dad simply wasn't mentally able after a while and mom never had a head for that sort of thing.

2. Yes, I was mostly left in charge of my siblings growing up. Both my parents had businesses and worked often 7 day weeks. I cooked dinner and helped with homework and whatnot. I'm aware that's not very normal, and I already know some of you will call my parents terrible for this but they simply didn't know better. I won't hate them for any of it and as much as it caused me some negative effects, it also made my siblings feel safe. I'm proud of being able to protect them and be there for them when they were young so they didn't feel how I felt. And yes, I am also in therapy.

3. I was the sole caretaker of my parents when they passed. The reasons are complicated but the short of it is, Dad got verbally abusive towards the end and mom got severely depressed and blunt. They were a challenge to deal with on the best of days. I hold no ill will towards them, but there it is. My siblings didn't want to be around them. Dad was hurt and changed his will. Mom followed suit.

4. For those telling me I am "rewarding" Clara by paying for literally this month, and that I'm not a real mom or a bad mom by loving my daughter's tormentor, I'm envious your world is so black and white. Rent is literally due today and the money was already in transfer to her via auto-banking. And Clara isn't getting rewarded, she is remaining housed. But from now on, she's on her own.

5. Clara and I used to be pretty close but she did get distant around the time Decker was adopted. I didn't know exactly why, just that the new dynamic was a challenge for her. I know she hates Charlie and considers him evil and irredeemable. She had a really hard time losing our cousin-in-law, Decker's biological mother, as they were very close so I assume her issues stem from this.

6. I inherited the majority of everything though my siblings got sizable sums, 3 got all but one of the businesses my parents owned, and everyone got trusts. Clara spiraled after mom passed and had a mental health crisis. Before we got her help, she traveled, drank, and gambled away her entire inheritance. Long story for another time.

I didn't have a moment to cool down and wait until today to give myself a chance to make a level-headed decision regarding my sister. Clara has spun the tale that I am jealous she found a loving man and am withholding mom and dad's money from her. She gave the perception that I was the one abusing Decker, putting her down, and telling her she isn't my real daughter. That shut down when I sent my text a couple days ago.

Yesterday, Clara was on my doorstep. She was crying and begging for me to let her in but my wife and her friends were inside and I made it clear I don't want her near my family as she emotionally abused my daughter and physically harmed my wife. I told her to leave or I would call the police to have her removed. I was going to call the police anyway because I told her never to come to our home again and there she was. There's a reason I said this in text, so I could -in an event like this- show them clear as day that she would know she is welcome.

Clara started to beg saying she will apologize to Decker and she was drunk and upset and made mistakes. I could tell she was drunk. Or high. Or somethkng. I told her it's not a simple "mistake" to bully a traumatized teen girl and make her feel unloved and unwanted by her own family and to text her that she is worthless and expendable. What the fuck!?

I got angry and just started to raise my voice. I dont know when I started to yell but I did. I just...lost it.

She's a cold-hearted, awful, self-serving brat. Spoiled beyond belief to being so delusional that this all would just go away - that's she's entitled to the money my wife and I make, that our parents gave us after all she did. She needs fucking help and I am done being the giving tree here. You don't ever hurt my child. She's lucky I have a head to keep my hands to myself and luckier still Honey isn't out here because she certainly would not so go the fuck home.

Clara slapped me across the face and called me a bitch and a traitor that I choose that "demon spawn" of a child over her. That I love Decker more than my own real family and turn my back on her this way.

Honey must have been right by the door because before I could make a very bad choice she had yanked me inside, told my sister that she had 60 seconds to fuck off and slammed the door closed.

Clara left quickly but we still called the police and handed over the footage from our property cameras of what happened, as well as the texts from our phones. Clara went ballistic over text telling me awful things ending with her hoping I take my own life and she would celebrate. Absolutely unhinged awful shit like that. I blocked her, sent every piece of footage In a google drive and dropped the link in the sibling group chat and sent it to "Kevin" her fiance.

I then sat down and cried myself into a fit before Decker came home from practice. I put on my "mom" face for her and made sure she did her homework then I went to the den and called my aunt - Decker's biological grandmother - and told her what happened.

My aunt told me that Clara is renewing her conspiracy that I harming Decker and that I need to be careful because she suspects Clara is having some sort of mental break and might do something crazy.

Honey and I have spent this whole day working on a request for a protective order from her. Making sure Decker's school knows no one is to pick her up but us. And get a lawyer because I think legal action is needed here. I told my eldest of the brothers that Clara needs help and asked if he could check on her because she might be as much a danger to herself as she is now presenting to be to me and my family. He got quiet and said "Can't you handle this?" And said this drama was too much and he's busy.

I was so stunned I just blurted out "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Before I just hung up. My other sister is now over, helping me deal with this. My other brother has gone to see after Clara, but says he will only make sure she hasn't hurt herself but beyond that she can get wrecked for what she's done.

Kevin called me and said he went through the Google drive and begged me not to call the police on Clara. He said that she has been having a really bad time, and has struggled with drinking and has been stealing his medications and he's trying to get her help. But if she gets arrested, he doesn't have the funds for bail pr any legal help. I told him it's too late. The police have been called and he needs to get her into some sort of rehab or something. He asked for our help to pay for a facility he was thinking of and I told him to keep her away from me and my family.

He started to cry and told me I'm am awful sister. That i don't care about Clara and her struggles and that she's just lost and he's underwater trying to keep her from going off a deep end. I didn't reply after that and have just been sitting around the house waiting for the police to call back, trying to get my crying out fo the way before Decker comes home from school.

I feel wretched and terrible because not matter what I do now, it will just never feel right. I was to look after them all and now my sister is this lunatic hellbent on burning my life down and my brother is alarmingly just indifferent to it all. I am used to being the one that holds the family together and handle things. But I don't feel like I can handle anything anymore. Wtf is my life?

My sister hates me because I'm not in the mood to take care of her kid.

AITH?

I'm f23, my sister f27 and my nephew 8months.

I've been taking care of my nephew everything I come back home from the weekend with my boyfriend. I feed him, change him, make exercises with him (doctor wants him to do it to move his left side better), while my sister cooks food for him, sit on the couch or goes nap, while I stay with him full day.

I reached a point where I'm becoming depressed, I know it sounds dumb. My mother asked me if I would mind not getting a job, so my sister would find one (never did) and I would stay at home with my nephew which I proudly denied :) my sister was sad and my mom was sad too but she understood why I said no.

Today I woke up, literally wanting to cry, my sister was in the other room spamming messages for me to get her kid so she could prepare breakfast for us, first I said I didn't wanna eat, not hungry, feeling meh today, secondly, I told her " today I'm free, you take care of your kid. You said you were so happy to move away with your now ex, living together, but how can you stay at home 24h if you already do the minimum to be around your kid? I'm not here forever and this is killing me mentally.". She didn't answer back, we don't talk.

I know IATA,at least a feeling of it, but I cannot change the fact that I'm like the mother of her child. That's why I love spending my weekends away, to have a break, while in that house,I have no space for myself. Before the kid was born, I just asked "my secretary is mine. That's all I'm asking", but it's not, every time I clean this room, my sister simply throws her dirty clothes everywhere, her kids too and I clean it so I could have a tiny place for myself, only to draw.

My boyfriend already knows this situation and he knows I'm becoming depressed, that's why I want a job so badly to run away from this routine...

My wife and I have a 6 month old and since she came back from the hospital, she completely changed. Before that we were the perfect couple, never once argued, had a happy life.

Her hatred for me was radiated from her everytime I was with her. I am not someone who likes to argue and after tolerating a lot, 2 days ago I snapped. We had a very heated argument that resulted in a screaming match.

Thats when she threatened to call the cops on me. I was just shell shocked and she kept screaming and shouting. When she had enough, she went to another room.

I grabbed whatever I could think of and left. I don't wanna go to jail, I don't wanna go back. I hate my life, I lost everything...

She wants me to come back and talk, I am not going back ever. My MIL came to me with my baby and I refused to hold her because if I knew if I did that I will want to go back and then my wife will call cops on me.

My MIL wants me to just talk things out, she is making excuses for my wife, she is saying she never meant what she said. I am staying with my friend, he is supportive of me hundred percent but he is saying that I am not being myself.

I am a little depressed because of all this but I am not crazy, even my MIL acknowledged that my wife did threaten to call the cops on me. There is no coming back from that, is there??

I've read everything you said and I want to thank you for your answers.

Before anything else, I want to clarify that I already deal with the loss of my mother and know that she's gone. I also want to say that I respect my dad's decision to move on because he has all the right to do it. For me, the real issue here is that he doesn't respect my boundaries.

As I mentioned before, I respect her as what she is, my dad's future wife, but I never developed a relationship with her or her kids so they are basically strangers to me and I'm going to explain things I didn't mention before so you can understand better.

For those who wonder how the whole graduation works in my country, I'll explain it. There's no limit of people that you can invite however you have to confirm a week before how many people you're gonna bring. I studied education and to graduate you have to go to what we call social service for almost a year, which I did last year.

My dad met his fiancee 5 years ago but we didn't know about her until 2 years ago. He presented her to my brothers while I was on social service so I didn't have the opportunity to get to know her better during all the past year and only met her a few times by then. I also want to mention that I have live with my grandparents since I was 15, so our pads didn't cross a lot.

In conclusion, what I wanted to clarify is that is not the fact that I don't accept her or her kids, it's the fact that they are literally strangers to me.

But I think the best alternative is to speak with her directly and tell her the truth and extend the invitation just for her since it's not her fault either. I'll invite her daughters to the celebration after everything but not to the graduation itself, and I'll have a serious conversation with my dad once again about my boundaries.

This is a throwaway for obvious reasons. My fiancé and I (25m and 24f at the time) met in college and were together for four years. My fiancé, Joseph, has an older brother (Matthew) who is three years older than Joe, so 28. I'm Black and Joe and Matthew are white, which I mention only because it's important contextually.

Full disclosure, I can't stand Matthew. In the few (half dozen or so) times I met him, he was extremely racist to me. He would make racist jokes (only offering me fried chicken, watermelon, kool aid, etc. but offering everyone else something normal like chips), laugh about arresting Black people (he's an active duty cop), and generally he'd just be, at the very best, incredibly insensitive. I wanted to say something about it, but I only ever saw him on holidays and at his wedding, so it never felt like the right time. I also didn't want to be known as the Angry Black Woman. My then-fiancé never once stood up for me when these things were said. (In fact, he once made a racially insensitive joke, but apologized when I confronted him about it.) In a way, this is where things started going south.

The main part of this story started last summer when Matthew got married to his wife, Leila, who was originally from Lebanon. I only got to meet her a few times, but Leila was such a beautiful and kind girl. I was planning to get to know her more after the wedding, as we were supposed to be sisters in law, but I never got the chance.

Matthew made racist jokes about her, too, saying that she was a terrorist and that he was "under the control of Al Qaeda" because he was with her. Matthew got Leila pregnant before their wedding, and committed suicide about halfway through the pregnancy. My vitriol for Matthew ran so incredibly deep that, upon hearing about Leila's death, my immediate thought was that he killed her. He didn't kill her directly, but her note cited him as the primary reason she killed herself.

When he spoke to me about it, I got the feeling that Joe had very little sympathy for Leila. Whenever I mentioned how awful it must have been for her to make that final decision, Joe would respond with something like "yeah, it's just so hard for Matty. He'll never be the same." (Leila's dead, by the way. She'll never be the same again, either.) He also told me that Leila had been depressed for a long time and just reached the tipping point. In the same conversation, he told me that she "blamed everything wrong in her life" on Matthew, even though "he did everything to make her happy". (He did not. He joked about shooting her dog and called her a terrorist. She also looked miserable at her wedding, like she was regretting it already. I still strongly believe that if she hadn't married him, she'd still be alive.)

Matthew is Joe's older brother and Joe's always looked up to him, but I was also incredibly put off by his words. I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts myself, and have been put in inpatient because of it. Joe knows this. I told him about it when we started seeing each other, and I was very open throughout the course of our relationship about my struggles and ongoing efforts to drag myself out of my depression.

He had other red flags, of course, but this was the breaking point for me. I ended up breaking up with Joe about six months after Leila passed. I wouldn't have waited, but I didn't want to compound his grief and I didn't want to end our relationship over the phone. At the time, my friends were supportive of my decision, with many of them saying I should have left sooner. But now when we talk about it, a few of them insinuate that I was in the wrong. Joe and I still communicate every once in a while, and while I have absolutely zero intention of being in a relationship with him again, I'm wondering if I owe him an apology.

Okay, so here’s the deal. My (29F) wedding was supposed to be the best day of my life, right? You know the drill, months of planning, stress, money, all that stuff. My sister (25F) was my maid of honor, and she’s always had a flair for drama. But I figured she could keep it together for one day. Spoiler alert: she didn’t.

Fast forward to the big day. Everything's going smoothly until the reception. My sister gets wasted, like, falling-over, crying, causing-a-scene wasted. She starts ranting about how I “always get everything” and how my wedding is just another example of me being the "golden child." In front of all my guests. Including my in-laws.

It gets worse. She actually grabs the mic during the speeches and starts going off about her “struggles” and how it’s not fair that I’m happily married while she’s single. At my wedding. The whole vibe turned awkward, and my husband’s family was just… shocked. People started leaving early, and I spent the rest of the night trying to put out fires instead of enjoying what was supposed to be our special day.

Now, weeks later, my parents say my sister is struggling with her mental health (no kidding), and they want me to pay for her therapy. Their reasoning is that since I’m the “successful” one, I should help out, and it would show that I’m a good sister. But like, she ruined my wedding! I don’t think I should have to foot the bill for her meltdown. I’m still angry about the whole thing, and honestly, I feel like she owes me an apology first.

But my parents think I’m being cold-hearted and that it’s my responsibility to support her. They’re pressuring me hard, but I just don’t think it’s fair to ask me to pay for something she clearly needs to take accountability for. So, AITA?

Okay, I seriously don’t know if I’m in the wrong here, so I need some outside opinions. Last week, I (28F) was on a 5-hour flight for work, and I had paid extra to reserve a window seat because I like to be comfortable and have a place to lean. I’m not great at sleeping on planes, so having that window makes a huge difference for me.

I get to my seat, and this family of four is sitting across the aisle. The dad comes up to me and asks if I’d be willing to swap my window seat for a middle seat two rows back so that he and his wife can sit together with their two kids.

Now, I get it, traveling with kids is stressful, but I really didn’t want to give up the seat I *paid extra for*, especially for a middle seat. I politely said, “Sorry, but I’d prefer to keep my seat.” The dad looked super annoyed and started telling me how it would “only be five hours” and how much it would help them out.

I apologized again and said no, and he got even more irritated, muttering something about how “people can be so selfish.” The mom gave me a dirty look too, and they spent the entire flight glaring at me while trying to entertain their kids (who, by the way, were not quiet at all).

Now, I feel kinda bad because I know traveling with kids isn’t easy, but at the same time, I didn’t think I should have to give up my comfort for a seat I specifically chose and paid for. A few of my friends think I was too harsh and should’ve just swapped, while others think I was in the right for standing my ground.

So, AITA for refusing to swap my seat?

My husband Mark 49M and I have been together for 12+ years, married for 5.

So last summer, my FIL, John (M77) abruptly left his wife Mary, my MIL (F79). They were married for more than 50 years! John pretended to be away for a few weeks, and then revealed he'd shacked up with a friend of the family, Hilda (F76) and hoped everyone would be OK with it. John and Hilda are still living together. My husband Mark was obviously devastated, and although John and Mary's relationship wasn't great, Mary was grief-stricken, and felt utterly betrayed by her husband and her friend. The affair had carried on for more than 5 years, starting while Hilda's own husband (who, BTW was also a former husband of one of her family members) was dying of cancer. I spent time with Hilda on a few occasions prior to the split, and I found her to be truly awful company (she touched guests at our wedding inappropriately, she says racist shit, she's arrogant). I actually asked John and Mary in earnest why they hung out with her before all this was revealed. They responded it was out of pity.

Mark has been an incredible support system for his Mom during this time. Mark's family in general, is severely emotionally avoidant and preoccupied with appearances/materialism. Mark's two siblings (M53, F52) basically just pretend like nothing's happened and flat out ignore/don't respond when their Mom, Mary, expresses sadness or pain regarding the situation. This avoidance has led to unclear (and IMHO unfair) financial and afterlife planning implications for Mary, but Mark and my suggestions to involve a neutral party (mediator) have gone unheeded. It's also left Mark and I as essentially the sole source of emotional support for Mary.

Mark's siblings are now hanging out with John and Hilda quite regularly, obviously without ever being honest with their Mom (or Mark) about it. John's also recently gotten a cancer diagnosis, which he hasn't told his kids about, except Mark (I told y'all they were avoidant). I am personally dubious about Hilda as a trustworthy source of support/information during the cancer care process. I would love for Mark and his siblings to have an honest and open conversation about this, but that seems to be a pipedream. John is pressuring Mark and I to hang out with him and Hilda. We've expressed that we're not comfortable spending time with her (but will with him!) and it would be disingenuous for us to pretend otherwise. Mark's siblings have inferred that we're being immature and should "get over it".

I've done a lot of therapy in my day (still do) and have navigated my own parental issues and lost my Dad in 2018. I truly don't believe that being honest about how we're feeling (and genuinely processing those emotions), leading with transparency and setting reasonable boundaries, is being immature. I actually think Mark is doing his best to break a dysfunctional cycle of avoidance and deception in his family. I'm really proud of him. But then again maybe I'm delusional and we are the assholes. Are we being unreasonable?

TL;DR: My FIL is pressuring my husband and I to hang out with his mistress as we try to navigate complicated family dynamics. Are we the assholes for choosing not to spend time with her?

I 19(F) have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. He’s an amazing person but there’s an issue. Now I know nobody has a perfect past, but he has a past of being a male prostitute. He was homeless until last year. He has slept with women and men for money during his homelessness. He told me about this as soon as we started to date.

He wants to be intimate but we have not been intimate yet. He also revealed early on that he had never been STD tested. I told him that we will not be intimate with him until he gets STD tested. He got mad at me and accused me of calling him dirty and not trusting him.

I never said he was dirty. He’s not a dirty person because of his past. I just want to be on the safe side of things. I also think it’s important for him to get tested. He could potentially have an std and if he does, it’s important for him to get treatment. This is the main reason why he needs to get tested.

AITAH?

My (f20) parents divorced when I was 16 and my dad remarried his now wife a year ago. Her and I are on cordial terms but I don't call her mom or really speak to her outside of necessity. Well last year I began attending university and as someone with a chronic illness I am required to write down 3 emergency contacts. I wrote down my dad, mom and older sister (f29) simply because they are my family. Well I recently had an incident where I was hospitalised and the university couldn't reach either of my parents and ended up calling my older sister who told our parents.

Once I recovered my dad asked why my sister was the one to tell them the new and I told him that it was because she was one of the three emergency contacts. My dad got mad at me for "excluding" my step mother, but I told him that I didn't know her well enough for her to sign off on any medical documents if the need arose. My dad called me a jerk for not considering her feelings and I told him that all she is is his wife, not my mother because I have a mother who is very present. He called me disrespectful and said that I was fighting against his happiness so, AITA?

My (34F) sister-in-law, Amy (28F), is going through a rough patch. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and got kicked out of their shared apartment. She called me and my husband (35M) last week asking if she could stay with us for a while until she gets back on her feet. Here’s the thing: Amy and I have never really gotten along. She can be really opinionated and judgmental, and we’ve clashed a few times over the years. I’ve tried to be civil for my husband’s sake, but it’s been hard. The last time she stayed over (for a weekend visit), she made several passive-aggressive comments about how I run the house and even criticized my parenting style (we have two kids). It was exhausting, and I honestly don’t want to go through that again, especially for an extended period of time. My husband thinks I’m being unreasonable and that we should help her out, especially since she doesn’t have many other options. He’s been pretty distant with me since I said no, and it’s causing tension between us. I told him I’m not comfortable having someone in the house who makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells, but now I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh. AITA for refusing to let her stay with us?l

Hey everyone, I posted here a little while ago about what went down at my wedding, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and support. It’s been a rough week, but I figured I'd update everyone on what’s happened since then.

After kicking my brother out, I stuck to my word and told my family we were taking a break. I blocked my brother on everything, and my wife and I decided to focus on each other for the week, just trying to recapture some of the joy that was stolen from us on our big day. We went on a mini-honeymoon to a cabin we’d rented and tried to shut out the drama for a bit.

However, as soon as we got back, my parents showed up unannounced. They claimed they just wanted to “talk it out,” but the second they sat down, it was clear they were there to defend my brother. They kept repeating that I "overreacted" and that he was just trying to be funny. My mom even said, "You know how your brother is. He didn't mean to hurt anyone." I told them that whether he meant it or not, he did hurt my wife, and that’s not something I can just brush off.

My dad then hit me with, “Family is family. You don’t turn your back on blood,” and I honestly lost it. I told them that my family is the one I chose to build with my wife, and if they can't respect her, then they don't get to be a part of our lives. They left in a huff, saying that I was being manipulated and that my wife was “too sensitive.”

The day after that, my brother tried reaching out—through a mutual cousin this time—saying he "didn't mean any harm" and that he's willing to “forgive me” if I apologize for embarrassing him in front of everyone. This absolutely floored me. I realized in that moment that he still doesn’t see what he did as wrong. I haven’t responded, and I don’t plan to.

My wife and I have started couples therapy—not because there’s anything wrong between us but because I want to make sure that she feels supported and knows that I'm fully on her side. It’s been helping her process what happened, and I think it’s helping me realize just how toxic my brother's behavior has always been.

We’ve decided to have a small, private vow renewal next year—just us and a few close friends—to reclaim what that day was supposed to be for us. In the meantime, we’re focusing on our future together and cutting out anyone who doesn’t respect us as a couple.

So yeah, maybe I did fracture my family, but if my brother’s “jokes” are more important to them than my wife’s happiness, then I’m honestly okay with that.

Thank you again to everyone who reached out—it meant more than you know.