Page 1 is about a Loony (a character my dad made up) hatching too many eggs. Page 2 is an ad for shampoo for hair. Page 3 is a TV guide. Page 4 is puzzles and lottery numbers. Page 5 is two comic strips. I can't explain the second one... Page 6 is an article on how to makeover your room before church. Page 7 is sport.

Not included is an article on smelly socks and job listings because it includes my parents' address.

When I was about four years old, there was a Hooters en route to my preschool. As we passed it every day, I eventually took notice of the owl on the sign and began begging to go there, assuming it was an owl themed restaurant. My mom would typically just dismiss this notion, and my dad would chuckle a bit. Fast forward a few months to my fifth birthday, and my parents made the fatal mistake of asking me where I wanted to go for dinner… Naturally I blurted out the name of the restaurant I had been obsessing over for months. Looking back, I don’t know if it was to avoid a tantrum or to try and teach me a lesson, but they complied and off to Hooters we went. I don’t remember much about the visit itself, other than being disappointed in the lack of owls. But according to my family, I loved the food, and all the waitresses came and sang happy birthday to me, apparently enjoying the change of pace. And that’s the story of the one and only time I’ve been to a Hooters.